Are the homeless really just "going green"?

Aka: "Ain't to proud to beg".


Are homeless people really only homeless for a greater good? Are they really just "going green" and trying to live a "sustainable lifestyle" away from the constraints of our modern society?(IE: technology, ipods, ect).



I think this is very possible. Lets examine the evidence shall we? For starters, they eat food people throw out that is still "perfectly good" (via dumpster diving), they are not wasteful, and they do not use "electricity" or pollute the air with gas cars. They are one with nature for they sleep on park benches and on the ground, sometimes in sleeping bags they have had for ages (who uses sleeping bags for real?). They don't care enough to put money into the economy by buying new clothes (or anything) there are "better things to worry about. Such as "where am I going to find my next meal and in which dumpster?". Wonder if these "homeless" people read Thoreau and think "this guy really gets me". Think I might just "hang in the forrest/woods/park for a while" and "take in the beauty of my existence." I think they are really just intellectuals who are grossly misunderstood. In this economy however, it is hard to even go green these days and live like the homeless. Especially when real homeless people just "show up" with their cardboard signs acting like they actually want a job a





They are just making everyone look bad and feel sorry for them when trust me, these people chose to live this way.


Also think that homeless people might be the original hipsters. I mean look at their fashion sense. Its cool to look Hobo Sheik and look like you haven't cut your hair/showered in weeks. Its also cool to drink 24 ounces on the street corner these days. Ironic sweat shirts is their forte as well as "flannel".





Pretty sure Marc Jacobs just looked at homeless for his "look" via 1990s Marc Jacobs. Remember Grunge? I sort of do. Grungy.as in filthy..as in grungy filthy dirty ahead of their time homeless. Thus..its hip to be homeless! Also with the dumpster diving lets be honest, only really cool anarchist freegans are into that, and couch surfing, which are parallel to this new going green and being homeless trend. And what's cooler than a freegan these days. Probably just the homeless, which is the epoch of what they wish to reach in their "search for un-materialized sustainability".


In summation, if you really want to get a head start on the new hip current trends, I'm think its gonna be homeless. Go green, dress like you don't care, eat out of the trash and stick it to the man! You'll probably be the coolest person you know, but you won't talk about it.

Matchmaker Matchmaker Make Me a Match

Oh crazy jersey lady please, help me find a boyfriend! O yeah I forgot, im not RICH therefore, i can not be helped! Thus proving it isn't about personality, not in the long run, it is all about MONEY and LOOKS. You see, I had this conversation with The Veesh the other day about why it is so hard for me to find a boyfriend. She said 'Well Andrea, you seem to go for really attractive men, you could stop being so particular". By GOD shes got it, I have no business running after these hot and sometimes wealthy dudes when I ain't got the goods to back it up. My personality is only getting me so far so perhaps I need to lower my standards. Or..GET RICH! Then that bitch in the video could help me.

In the vein of all the Bachelor and Bachorlette shows, my fav channel ev's BRAVO introduced us to the Millionaire Matchmaker. A sassy new jersey woman who comes from three generations of matchmakers, though she is the only one smart enough to make money off of it. She has millionaire clients pay her to set them up with a classy broad. Now for this to happen, she has cattle calls I mean casting calls for women to come in where they are judged and therefor deemed good enough for these men who are shelling out the dough. Basically she picks, blondes, young, perky, skinny, everything that does nothing to give me hope of ever finding a boyfriend. Perpetrating the stereotype of what men really want, dumb, blonde and skinny as hell yet the men are not exactly attractive, but their money sure is right! There are a few women they pick with their masters degrees, but they are more often then not, seen as "too old" and some of these dudes want to "have kids" ya know? Disgusting, yet, i find all of this extremely interesting! Makes me want to drop a few and dye my hair and act stupid to go to one of these casting calls!

Moving forward this lady sets up the millionaire with a party where all these women who were screened are at so he has his chance to choose who to date. Now if you cant find one woman in a room of ladies who are dying to date you  (AND YOUR MONEY), you have problems sir. I just find it all to be sad because I believe like me, these woman will talk to him, find one thing they like about him and be into it no mater what,and  yeah he is RICH! this could never be the set up for real love right? especially not when everyone knows their place in this equation. So I ask you all, is their really love and money? Or can money really just buy you all the love you need? Lets sit on THAT one. I almost think I prefer the Bachelor when those bitches think they are marrying some guy with a lot of money and it turns out he is like a farmer or fireman or some shit. Thats how this lady should really play it. Like a legit service where she sets women up with "decent men" and tries to sell them that waylik eby their personality and stuff and only in the end do these girls find out that they "missed the chance to date a millionaire". I guaranteed it wouldn't work as well, you know, like here in the REAL dating world.

I guess I have a lot of things to not think about now. I have decided that in order for me to ever date again I need to not just lower my standards but to have no expectations. However I can have preferences, such as I prefer the men I date to be really good looking and or rich. I see no harm in that. This sentiment is not lost on men either. I met a 19 year old boy the other day who says he is just looking for a sugar mama who referred to as a "hush money mama". You know, a woman who is attractive , rich and unhappily married who has sex with him and then pays him not to talk about it, GENIUS WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT. I think that is what i really want, a "hush dollar daddy". Count me in. I think I should be the next millionaire matchmaker, I would like, test them out first myself if you know what I'm sayin? Only it would be for married people who go behind their spouses back in order to find their little play thing. I think that is trashy, hilarious and right up there with every other piece of garbage on tv. Anyone know somebody at VH1? Get back to me!

BABAEYYY: New peeves and octopus

New Pet Peeve: " seeing someone at work and they stop you to ask you "did you get my email?" or "did you listen to my message?". These are quite annoying I agree. This in fact is related to Roberts pet peeve of when you leave a voice message and the person calls you right back without listening to the message....which I do to him all the time.

I have realized that my new pet peeve is people who hum/sing....everywhere they go. There is a time and a place, and trust me not every place can be that place and not every time is the right time do you know what i mean? meaning NEVER DO IT AROUND ME PLEASE.

Anyhow lets get to the point of this blog, ahem. Now, many of you readers may or may not have received a text from me asking the question "how many legs does an octopus have?" now, i asked that question for real, to Oleander while i was drawing this creepy cartoon of a thug stealing money and an octopus sheriff was chasing after him. While drawing I inquired stupidly "how many legs does an octopus have" oleander responded "7? maybe 8?" and then it hit me. "OCTO", i said, octo means 8!" This ridiculous conversation led me to evilly text all my friends to see if they would answer you know... "8?" or " are you fucking kidding me thats stupid a fucking question?" the ladder is what i was hoping for. Little did i know that people were treating the question as a quiz waiting for me to send them the answer. Or some acted like it was not a dumb question to ask and proved their smarts to me by simply stating "8". The best are when people told me that they really had to think about it for a second before responding either sarcastically or truthfully, most picked truth or said " is his a trick? they have 8 TENTACLES". WOW That response was even smarter than i expected to get.. Now i ask you all to examine what these answers say about these people. No seriously tell me what you this all means. And feel free to offer up your own stupid/ amazingly thought provoking though easily answered question. I call it "the question where the wrong answer is the right one" if ya know what i mean. If someone asked me that I wonder what i would have said. I'm thinking I would have been stumped seeing as I asked it in the first place. Damn it.

ps: Robert is not about frills and glamor aka "accessory".- Love Octomom

New euphamisims

well....

I watched Twilight and...

I didn't want to kill myself! Wow I am as shocked as you are! Ill keep this short. Besides the film being rushed, which most book adaptations do, I really didn't think it was a cheesy as everyone said it was. The worst most cringe worthy parts were him jumping on trees with Bella on his back, however my sister assured me that is NOT in the book. So basically the director fucked up the adaptation pretty bad in some parts. Also it seemed that their love was pretty out of no where, my sister assured me in the book it takes like 20 chapters before they even get together. so im going to have to have to blame the classic "condensing" problem down to why others may have felt this film was rubbish. Thats how i felt about HP 5. Really, this film was tolerable because you get to stare at THIS

I know he only did this film for the pay out but, THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU you are amazingly attractive. Even as a wussy vampire. So i get what all the tweens like about this. Him. duh. The end.

Im about to watch Twilight

Review to follow.

On a side note..my brother just said he saw a guy laying dead with a pool of blood going down into the gutter here in akron (where im at right now) with caution tape. a dead guy. i cant go anywhere in this town. i am going to put a bullet in my head after watching this film. call the cops.

Stolen From The Headlines....

and this is NOT Law and Order people. I know that the subjects that I am about to shed some light on, have already been beaten into the ground many, many times by gossip rags and television celebrity shows alike. Like EXTRA and ET an E! all of them have an upper case E!!! well here is some EXCITING news about two of the hottest stories of the past couple weeks...thats right...weeks of attention have been given to this. Hot topic numero uno....

The mother effn Octuplet mom seen here:

okay. yess this bitch has too many kids...yes this bitch has clearly had plastic surgery to look like the ultimate kid crazy peon Angelina when she cant afford her childrem (what did you think if you got her lips youd get her money and nannies?), but the real story here is in the story sthemself. Certain television new magazines have been showing far too much coverage of the alien antichrist spawner that is the Octupley Mom. she has a name :Naydia but who cares. Anyway, my favorite part of this whole ordeal is me saying to myself "wtf why do people give shit about this and why the hell is every station showing this attention whore?its sad" im saying this reflecting upon my ET watching ( no cable dont hate) and just then as I moved on to its evil twin Extra! on NBC..they actually said at the end of the show .."We want to take a moment to discuss why we will no longer be covering the Octuplet mom...because well..its gross. Sure she may be on tv a lot and maybe get her own reality tv show someday and we will have to cover it, but as for now we will no longer be covering the Octuplet mom". Then...for the next few days..Extra took it upon themselves to pause for a moment to talk about why they were no longer going to talk about the Octuplet Mom.ummmmHELLO! Give me a break, lets talk about not talking about it...one in the same. Like they were so genuis to think of this sham. Pshhh even I am not above talking about no talking about not talking about it!

Story numero dos: Jessica Simpson Weight Gain/Unflattering Foopa/Biff (butt in front)Jean Photo


Alright I know what your saying "ENOUGH ALREADY" but people.... I know that I do not have cable or internet or any exposure to any other iconoclasts like myself besides what I read in Life and Style But really when i first saw this picture only one thought came to mind and it had nothing to do with weight. The realy story if this picture lies in the details...yes J Simp seen here is wearing unflattering mom jeans at a florida chili cook off that make it appear as though she has gained weight. Ohhhh weight gain how horrible..mom jeans even worse, but isnt the bigger more perplexing question......drum roll please........what the hell was she doing singing at a chili cook off in Florida???Isnt that far more pathetic than gaining weight or wearing biff jeans given her celeb status? I think so. That was literally what caught my attention. That and the fact that people still give a shit about this washed up singer/actress whose meal ticket lies in the greasy bean covered spoons of a bunch retirees in a chili cook off contest. Isnt that the truley sad part of this story? Or is that where the send all the celebrities for " fat camp"? (for the record I think she looks fine). The real crime is how no one has brought this to peoples attention so we can stop talking about how apparenetly fat she is, but how we are all wasting time talking about a no talent no fashion senses chili cook off singing ding bat. Enough said.

So there it is. Im glad I got that off my chest. And I would like to take a moment to talk about how I will not be talking about Rhiannas busted up face at the hands of Chris Brown. Its just gross.- Drea

Im Just Not That Into This "movie"

I use the term Movie loosely....Its more like... a complete and utter waste of time...whats a one word way to describe that sentiment...oh yes..DISASTER. I knew this film was bad news when I decided that I really didn't feel like reciting the film title in it's entirety while ordering my ticket. I made Amanda go first so that I could say "one for the same". In general, I have never been more annoyed by people's lack of acting skills in my entire life. So somehow these producers managed to wrangle up all these A listers to recite the most disgustingly trite dialog while trying to keep a straight face. That takes talent I suppose...which apparently none of them had because everyone in this film was absolutely TERRIBLE. Scar Jo...not so good at playing a ditz or this reincarnation of Marlyn Monroe she was trying to channel. She was a nightmare. I am wondering if she knew that it was a bad part for her so she didn't really feel the need to put anything into the roll seeing as it is puff piece..so maybe that makes her smart? I have no clue...i just know that I was questioning her acting ability before I saw this film and now im certain...this bitch cant act for shit!!!! Jennifer Conolley too..poor Jennifer. She pulled off her "my husband cheated on me but im totally going to be cool about it" thing down alright I guess..but COME ON! NO girl would be okay with that after finding it out...in Home Depot.

And what was the deal with every house and building in this film have exposed brick walls??? You do not just find exposed brick everywhere like that..to me that was the most ridiculous part of the film, not just the overly cheesy and no way that would ever happen dialog. Like Jen said....people do not just change like these people did over night. Boys do NOT start talking to you in the grocery store line.....boys do not say that they want to never marry you then all of the sudden decide they do.....it was all just too much, Everyone in the theater was laughing...at things that Im pretty sure were supposed to be the "serious dramatic" parts of the film. At least in most of the parts where a character recited an overtly cliche line...the would follow it up with them saying they knew it was cliche or redundant to say such dribble. So at least the film was in a sense...making fun of itself I suppose. But Robert knows I do not like when films directly state metaphors...and i do not like when film titles LIE. This film should be called He is Just That Into You hello!!!! Everyone but the cheating husband winds up with someone in the end. So basically this film made me not want to be a woman, a smoker, married, dating, single, or coherent. I could post pictures of starving children and war torn countrysides posted next to pictures of Jennifer Annisten and Ben Affleck to pictorially show where the money wasted on making this film could have went, but I'm sure you get the picture.

It is clear that all of these actors did this film for the easy paycheck.

There can literally be no other reason. I have not a lot to say I guess..i'm not waisting a film degree over analyzing piece of crap film. In the mentime let me expose you to this AMAZING photo I just stumbled across while googling "dollar sign eyes"



HILARIOUS. It is even more funny that this picture should come up while searching for someone who has dollar signs in their eyes. Clearly this picture proves that Hill Duff will do anything for money.

Hes Just Not That Into You

Tonight I am going to go see the new potentially terrible film Hes Just Not That Into You...now i loved the uote when it was on Sex and the City, i however found the book to be a complete wate of time. I don't need a book to tell me that if a guy isn't calling me, he doesn't like me. Duh I get it, Ive been rejected..now expanding on this fact for 100 pages and incorporating crazy situations made by made up by these writers disguised as "letters" only made me want to kill myself. However, I'm a chick, I like some chick flicks. There I said it. I'm only hoping this film will re affirm my stance on why its fine to be single because boys are stupid anyway, sheesh.

I know this film will present women who say things that real women do not say, show things happening that real men don't do. More importantly it will show people in amazing lofts with sweet hip jobs that also do not really exist. It gets hard to relate to these people mostly because of these traits alone. Place them in some stupid middle class town in the middle of Ohio. Im sure it would be every bit as scandalous. Ask my mother! Well I better stop myself here before I write a review before even viewing the film. Lets hope its not like Twilight....oh god PLEASE no.

I think Robert and I should write our own version based on his quote (i'm trying to make it famous for him) 'You and me doesn't work for me, and thats all that really matters" perhaps they can use that as an optional title? No...we should save that for US to get rich:) Well Robert will but I thought of the possibilities:)

Andrea and Roberts New BFF aka Nomance

Well it appears that the dawn of Bromance has approached and Brody has picked his new hommie in the form of some shleppy dude from Bawwston. I know it was nice of Borody to give "regular" people a chance to be his bro in other words people who are not rich..(though he did give the dude a new car and swanky apartment..you k now he ha dto at least LOOK rich) however, when picking my potential best friend I would have set my hights.. a little bit higher. After all, isn't it what people can do you for you not what you can do for them? Exactly. Here I will begin compiling my list of people who I would choose to be my new BFF. Robert will hopefully follow suit soon and add his two cents though im pretty sure he will agree with my choices. Anyone would!

Canidate 1. Chuck Bass


Chuck (of Gossip Girl fame) has many of the attributes I look for in a best friend. Hes rich, hes stylish, he drinks before nooon, he has a private investigator on speed dial, and he doesn't throw in the towel so easily. With Chuck you never know where they day may take you and he would be the first to offer you a drink, and place a hit on someone who stole your boyfriend. Did i mention he is also extremely HOT. Seriously boys, take notice of his clothing. He is the only person under 50 who wears ascots and smoking jackets. Amazing. This picture is really big. Stop looking at his crotch.

2. Chris Liley/ any character he plays on Summer Heights High




This man can play a woman better than Rupaul, which could come in handy, think about it. He could disguise himself to be anyone you want! You could have a different friend any day of the week but still have the same friend if you get my drift. A gay drama teacher, a stuck up rich girl, a Polynesian breakdancer, you name it, he can be it, and thats amazing. Not to mention how hilarious he is and humor is key. Its not often that I find someone funnier than me!

3. Joel McHale


He watches all the shitty television programs so you don't have to! Which is great because Robert and I do not have cable let alone DVR so there is no way we could catch all the precious gems he brings to light, let alone speak about them with such whit and charisma. Jole McHale could make the Pope shoot milk out of his nose, thats how funny he is.

4. Amy and David Sedaris


Amy has that dressing like other people thing down as well as Chris Lilley, and I thought it only fair to throw at least one girl in the bunch. Not only that, she can mae you cupcakes! and teach you how to make plant holders out of pantyhose (see her book: I Like You..) you really can;t go wrong with her or her hilarious novelist brother David. David Sedaris is the only person who can getmy post graduate self to read. He humanizes the smallest of vices and really lets it all hang out. OIf only I could be so truthfull about the pitfalls of my life. David also quit smoking so im looking up to him for that. And he lives in France and I need a place to stay when I move there.

Okay, so it is becoming increasingly hard to type because im by a window and the sun is beating down on the screen and I can't see shit. But there ya have it!!! I wouldn't even feel the need to hold a contest for these people to be my friends, the more the merrier BRODY. Why pick just one when there is plenty of me to go around! Now go off any meet some people and Robert...your up next!

Labor Orgasms: Oxymoron? Apparently Not!

Okay, so this article serioulsy creeped me out:

Labor Orgasms Called 'Best-Kept Secret'
Moms, Experts Say Relaxation Is Key to Pleasurable Childbirth
Painful. Excruciating. Unbearable. These are the words most often
associated with childbirth.
Is it possible to have an orgasm during childbirth?

But what about pleasurable? Blissful? Euphoric?

Some women even say that instead of agony, childbirth can be ecstasy.

Amber Hartnell of Hawaii said she experienced an orgasm during labor
when she gave birth to her son in September 2005.

"All of a sudden the orgasm just started rolling through and rolling
through, and it just kept coming, and my whole body was spiraling and
rolling, and I was laughing and crying," she said.

Hard to imagine? Hartnell and her husband, Nassim Haramein, were
shocked as well. Although they had spent many hours planning for their
son's birth, in a tub under a tree outside their home, they say they
never planned for an "orgasmic" birth.

Haramein was amazed -- and also relieved -- to see his wife experience
such pleasure.
Related
Trying to Take Back Childbirth
Laboring to Save Home Births
Controversy Brewing Over Home Births

"It made me feel like everything was gonna be all right," he said.
"The experience didn't have to be a traumatic, painful experience. It
could be an experience of ecstatic joy."

"It is, as we say, the best-kept secret," said Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a
childbirth educator for 26 years. "I believe by women having such
terrible fear. … Women aren't getting the choices they need, to make
the experience as easy as possible."

Labor Orgasms Are 'Basic Science'

To prove that it is possible to have pleasure in childbirth,
Pascali-Bonaro made a documentary called "Orgasmic Birth."

Tamra and Simon Larter of suburban New Jersey were one of the couples
that allowed Pascali-Bonaro to film their most intimate moments of
labor. For their second child, the Larters wanted a natural birth with
midwives at their home. They spent part of Tamra Larter's labor
kissing and caressing.

"The physical touch and the nurturing was just really comforting to
me," Tamra Larter said, adding that she ultimately experienced an
orgasmic birth. "It was happening, and I could hardly breathe, and it
was like, 'oh, that feels good.' That's all I could say really."


You can find the rest of this creepy article here:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6120045&page=1

Thanks to Lynn for the link. I was never going to give birth to a
child, and now I'm REALLY not going to give birth to a child. I guess
its sexual when you make the little alien so it might as well be one
at the end of the ordeal right? okay i feel like a creep just saying
that. I need to go throw up now. I dont think that bitch was crying
and screaming for job. She must have "my life is over" and "I feel
great!!!" all mixed up in her head. Labor does not feel good. I have
never had a child but this is pretty much a known fact. What this
article didn't tell you is that in addition to epidurals, these women
were given Ecstasy drips. Thats the only real explanation. Either that
or this article is a ploy by the government to get people to have more
children by telling women they can experience the best orgasm ever
while pushing out babies. Anyway, I'm mostly at a loss. Your thoughts?

Bromance Means Never Having to Wear Sleeves

This is apparetly the answer to Brody Jenners erudite cry "What is Bromance?" Okay, let me begin with something that I put in an earlier post. The first time I saw a tv promo for Bromance (while watching the Hills...it's research people!) I seriously did almost cry. I may have been a little drunk at the time and my emotions were not all together, but I was shocked at just how terrible television has got since I stopped watching cable (at my house, not other peoples). I just couldn't believe they would give an asshole like Brody Jenner show. The male equivalent to Paris Hiltons BFF. How could this possibly work? I found out and boy did I cry like i did from the promo, only this time with LAUGHTER INSANE LAUGHTER.

Watching an episode of Bromance was almost like watching piles of money being flushed down the toliet by a clown in a diaper. Funny...but a complete waste of money. I was however intrigued because I still have no clue if Brody is doing this for entertainment and KNOWS how literally gay everything they do and say is coming off, or if these contestants are really just that pathetic. One would suggest the smart thing to do is to try and get on this show to gain some sort of 15 minutes of fame, but some of these guys...seem like they genuinely want to be this tool boxes friend. They had no idea what they were in for. Let me now begin explaining for you "What is Bromance?"

1. Bromance means never having to wear sleeves. For the first 20 minutes of this show these dudes were either shirtless or had on sleeveless tee shirts which we should all know is a HUGE no no.
2. Bromance means simulating sex acts on blowup dolls, BMX riding, then "chair boarding". Yes that's right, its like skateboarding, but in chairs with wheels.
3. Bromance means sounding as gay as the title itself/crying. These boys really shed some serious tears when placed before Der Fuhrer Brody. Their lives must really be that bad that they seek the friendship of someone as dead behind the eyes and worthless as Brody Jenner. Oh, but Brody has seen hard times too. Just ask him! Wait, no hell just tell you while he is trying his best to sound like Dr. Phil. He however comes off more like a Diet Tyra Banks. How is Brody so easy to open up to? does he really care?? Now more of how this show is completely homosexual: Broisims. What are Broisms you ask? These are the clever little words and phrases that have sprung from this show, most of which just sound really really gay. Let me indulge you...

One of the shows contestants name is "Femey" which could be short for..feminine?? Uhuh. This Femy dude walked around the house calling everyone "femalish". Kind of ironic don't you think coming from someone with his moniker who also spends a good portion of the show crying.

Brody said "It's always nice to have girls around". A broisim this he does not abide by seeing as these dues are around each other trying to date Brody for the entire show! One guy actually said the following while waiting for the verdict of if he was being bounced or not:

"Up untill that point I was just clenching my butt!"...what really?????

Brody:"Well since I didn't get anywhere with Chris in the freezer..."?? get anywhere?? woah. He is such a Bromancer. This show is really just a vehicle for puns that people will stop using once this shit is off the air.

In summation, this show is hilarious and openly homosexual. I know these guys say and do some of these things in jest of being gay, however the genuine emotion that comes out of these creeps is nothing short of "femalish". My com padres Vanessa and Amanda had these comments to say during the telecast:

Veesh:In reference to Brody saying "somebody's getting off this party boat" "Last of the Brohicans!"

Me:"This show is gay."

Amanda "This show is absolutely gay."

Me :"The best part of watching this show was the commercial for the new Notorious BIG movie."

Veesh: "They are Brohopeful!"

Amanda:"Is someone going to get to spend the night with Brody like in Flavor of Love?"

Veesh:"This show should be called "Who wants to do Brody's laundry."

And there you have it. Someone is getting off this party boat (he changes that line at the end of every show) and it isn't me. I'm here to stay as long as Veesh lets me come over to watch it. We all know Brody doesn't need any new friends, certainly not any of these guys. Brody needs ratings. Bordy needs to make money independently from that given to him from his lesbian looking father. Help Brody out!!! Watch this show please? Would I ever recommend something bad to you?

(warning: this show will rot your brain. Only watch under the influence). Tune in next time for my next TV blog "I Am Actually Into American Idol aka I don't Have Cable".- Andrea