Thursday, January 15, 2009

Labor Orgasms: Oxymoron? Apparently Not!

Okay, so this article serioulsy creeped me out:

Labor Orgasms Called 'Best-Kept Secret
'
Moms, Experts Say Relaxation Is Key to Pleasurable Childbirth
Painful. Excruciating. Unbearable. These are the words most often
associated with childbirth.
Is it possible to have an orgasm during childbirth?

But what about pleasurable? Blissful? Euphoric?

Some women even say that instead of agony, childbirth can be ecstasy.

Amber Hartnell of Hawaii said she experienced an orgasm during labor
when she gave birth to her son in September 2005.

"All of a sudden the orgasm just started rolling through and rolling
through, and it just kept coming, and my whole body was spiraling and
rolling, and I was laughing and crying," she said.

Hard to imagine? Hartnell and her husband, Nassim Haramein, were
shocked as well. Although they had spent many hours planning for their
son's birth, in a tub under a tree outside their home, they say they
never planned for an "orgasmic" birth.

Haramein was amazed -- and also relieved -- to see his wife experience
such pleasure.
Related
Trying to Take Back Childbirth
Laboring to Save Home Births
Controversy Brewing Over Home Births

"It made me feel like everything was gonna be all right," he said.
"The experience didn't have to be a traumatic, painful experience. It
could be an experience of ecstatic joy."

"It is, as we say, the best-kept secret," said Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a
childbirth educator for 26 years. "I believe by women having such
terrible fear. … Women aren't getting the choices they need, to make
the experience as easy as possible."

Labor Orgasms Are 'Basic Science'

To prove that it is possible to have pleasure in childbirth,
Pascali-Bonaro made a documentary called "Orgasmic Birth."

Tamra and Simon Larter of suburban New Jersey were one of the couples
that allowed Pascali-Bonaro to film their most intimate moments of
labor. For their second child, the Larters wanted a natural birth with
midwives at their home. They spent part of Tamra Larter's labor
kissing and caressing.

"The physical touch and the nurturing was just really comforting to
me," Tamra Larter said, adding that she ultimately experienced an
orgasmic birth. "It was happening, and I could hardly breathe, and it
was like, 'oh, that feels good.' That's all I could say really."


You can find the rest of this creepy article here:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6120045&page=1

Thanks to Lynn for the link. I was never going to give birth to a
child, and now I'm REALLY not going to give birth to a child. I guess
its sexual when you make the little alien so it might as well be one
at the end of the ordeal right? okay i feel like a creep just saying
that. I need to go throw up now. I dont think that bitch was crying
and screaming for job. She must have "my life is over" and "I feel
great!!!" all mixed up in her head. Labor does not feel good. I have
never had a child but this is pretty much a known fact. What this
article didn't tell you is that in addition to epidurals, these women
were given Ecstasy drips. Thats the only real explanation. Either that
or this article is a ploy by the government to get people to have more
children by telling women they can experience the best orgasm ever
while pushing out babies. Anyway, I'm mostly at a loss. Your thoughts?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Bromance Means Never Having to Wear Sleeves

This is apparetly the answer to Brody Jenners erudite cry "What is Bromance?" Okay, let me begin with something that I put in an earlier post. The first time I saw a tv promo for Bromance (while watching the Hills...it's research people!) I seriously did almost cry. I may have been a little drunk at the time and my emotions were not all together, but I was shocked at just how terrible television has got since I stopped watching cable (at my house, not other peoples). I just couldn't believe they would give an asshole like Brody Jenner show. The male equivalent to Paris Hiltons BFF. How could this possibly work? I found out and boy did I cry like i did from the promo, only this time with LAUGHTER INSANE LAUGHTER.

Watching an episode of Bromance was almost like watching piles of money being flushed down the toliet by a clown in a diaper. Funny...but a complete waste of money. I was however intrigued because I still have no clue if Brody is doing this for entertainment and KNOWS how literally gay everything they do and say is coming off, or if these contestants are really just that pathetic. One would suggest the smart thing to do is to try and get on this show to gain some sort of 15 minutes of fame, but some of these guys...seem like they genuinely want to be this tool boxes friend. They had no idea what they were in for. Let me now begin explaining for you "What is Bromance?"

1. Bromance means never having to wear sleeves. For the first 20 minutes of this show these dudes were either shirtless or had on sleeveless tee shirts which we should all know is a HUGE no no.
2. Bromance means simulating sex acts on blowup dolls, BMX riding, then "chair boarding". Yes that's right, its like skateboarding, but in chairs with wheels.
3. Bromance means sounding as gay as the title itself/crying. These boys really shed some serious tears when placed before Der Fuhrer Brody. Their lives must really be that bad that they seek the friendship of someone as dead behind the eyes and worthless as Brody Jenner. Oh, but Brody has seen hard times too. Just ask him! Wait, no hell just tell you while he is trying his best to sound like Dr. Phil. He however comes off more like a Diet Tyra Banks. How is Brody so easy to open up to? does he really care?? Now more of how this show is completely homosexual: Broisims. What are Broisms you ask? These are the clever little words and phrases that have sprung from this show, most of which just sound really really gay. Let me indulge you...

One of the shows contestants name is "Femey" which could be short for..feminine?? Uhuh. This Femy dude walked around the house calling everyone "femalish". Kind of ironic don't you think coming from someone with his moniker who also spends a good portion of the show crying.

Brody said "It's always nice to have girls around". A broisim this he does not abide by seeing as these dues are around each other trying to date Brody for the entire show! One guy actually said the following while waiting for the verdict of if he was being bounced or not:

"Up untill that point I was just clenching my butt!"...what really?????

Brody:"Well since I didn't get anywhere with Chris in the freezer..."?? get anywhere?? woah. He is such a Bromancer. This show is really just a vehicle for puns that people will stop using once this shit is off the air.

In summation, this show is hilarious and openly homosexual. I know these guys say and do some of these things in jest of being gay, however the genuine emotion that comes out of these creeps is nothing short of "femalish". My com padres Vanessa and Amanda had these comments to say during the telecast:

Veesh:In reference to Brody saying "somebody's getting off this party boat" "Last of the Brohicans!"

Me:"This show is gay."

Amanda "This show is absolutely gay."

Me :"The best part of watching this show was the commercial for the new Notorious BIG movie."

Veesh: "They are Brohopeful!"

Amanda:"Is someone going to get to spend the night with Brody like in Flavor of Love?"

Veesh:"This show should be called "Who wants to do Brody's laundry."

And there you have it. Someone is getting off this party boat (he changes that line at the end of every show) and it isn't me. I'm here to stay as long as Veesh lets me come over to watch it. We all know Brody doesn't need any new friends, certainly not any of these guys. Brody needs ratings. Bordy needs to make money independently from that given to him from his lesbian looking father. Help Brody out!!! Watch this show please? Would I ever recommend something bad to you?

(warning: this show will rot your brain. Only watch under the influence). Tune in next time for my next TV blog "I Am Actually Into American Idol aka I don't Have Cable".- Andrea